6 August 2018

A male perspective on infertility

Often we forget how the fertility treatment roller coaster can impact men too. Here a previous IVF patient gives a male perspective on infertility and his tips to supporting a partner through treatment.

The consequences of infertility can affect both men and women but often we forget how the fertility treatment roller coaster can impact men too. Here a previous IVF patient gives a male perspective on infertility and his tips to support a partner through treatment.

Having spent a good proportion of my life avoiding getting women pregnant, I assumed that trying for a baby would be a fun and straightforward process – however, I proved to be majorly wrong on both counts! After trying for well over a year my wife visited the GP and was told that we could have tests to investigate further, which we did and overall these were ‘Satisfactory’. Still no progress and then it was a case of considering IVF. My wife was in shock and this is where the romantic dream folded as IVF was not how either of us imagined conceiving a child and it was going to take some getting our heads around emotionally, practically and financially. For my wife, shock turned to distress as she began to painfully assess why we were in this situation and to research what our options were. As a Project Manager by profession, this turned into a major research and planning exercise!

For what it’s worth here is ‘A Guy’s Guide to supporting your partner through fertility treatment’:

#Tip No.1: Agree your approach

Share the research work in hand and agree when and how you will update each other – Find a time that is convenient for you both and when you can give it your full attention. Open Days and subsequent appointments with Consultants become the next stage and can start to encroach on your valuable weekend time. However, they can be informative and your instinct is a useful guide with such matters, so try and go along together.

#Tip No.2: Go the Open Days together where possible and ask questions

Once you have chosen your clinic, things start to get more personal, blood tests, drug protocols and scans will start to fill your calendar. My wife was happy to do much of this on her own and I went along to most of the scans for additional support. Sometimes she would feel emotional if the results weren’t what we were expecting and what is often described as an ‘emotional rollercoaster’ begins. Unfortunately, there is not a standard operating manual for handling this, all you can do is roll with it and accept it as part of the process, understanding that it’s the same for most people.

#Tip No. 3: Develop you own Support Network

During this time, it’s important for you to be able to let off steam with others that you feel are supportive of your overall plans. Give some thought to who you both tell about your fertility plans and how this is relayed. Treat the use of social media with caution. If like for us, your treatment takes a few attempts before it is successful, it is important that you take some time out every now and again for that holiday or event to stay connected as a couple. ‘Project Baby’ can be overwhelming at times.

#Tip No. 4. Look after your relationship during treatment

This works both ways and can often be taken for granted. Sometimes I felt like a financier of someone else’s pregnancy and this made me feel detached from the process, as it was all about the mother and less so about the father. I don’t think was intentional on anybody’s part, it was just that way. Your sex life will understandably change and being open to communication about this is key.

#Tip No 5. Keep a 360 perspective on what’s going on and take care of yourself

I found going to the gym helped to clear my head and it felt that I was doing something healthy as part of my side of the deal. I watched what I ate and was careful with alcohol. I think my wife appreciated this and was comforted that I was doing all that I could to help move things along. Sometimes going through treatment can feel like walking through mud, but things can turn on a sixpence and the present soon becomes the past.

For more information on the emotional impact of infertility on men you can visit the Fertility Network website. The LWC runs a monthly support group for both men and women who are going through fertility treatment. These sessions are a fantastic opportunity to meet others in a similar situation and get some well needed support For more help and advice or to discuss attending the support group, please contact our resident fertility coach Cindy at Cindy.Charles@londonwomensclinic.com.

All of our blog posts are written, edited, or produced by the London Women's Clinic Content Team. This is a collaboration between our expert writers, health editors, and the leading researchers and senior doctors at our Harley Street clinic.

‘We started our IVF process with LWC around a year ago. It felt very daunting and a long road ahead, and the entire team were so supportive and explained everything so clearly. When we were undergoing the egg retreival and transfer, the team were so kind and we felt really looked after. We have now welcomed our little girl and after years of trying, we wouldn't have gotten here without the support and guidance given by LWC. Thank you all!’

Alice Maker

22 January 2026, LWC London Bridge

‘Dr Suraya made our appointment a really enjoyable experience. She made us both feel at ease and was so knowledgeable throughout the scan. Dr Suraya is a real asset to LWC’

Liz Troup

22 January 2026, LWC London Bridge

‘I received excellent care from all the staff at London Women's Clinic, we felt very welcomed as a same sex couple. We are so grateful to have been able to have our wonderful daughter. I would definitely recommend the clinic to anyone starting fertility treatment!’

Megan Knox

21 January 2026, LWC Canterbury

‘I've recently completed a round of egg freezing with London Women's Clinic harrow and I couldn't recommend them as a clinic more. Carla and Ana-Maria quite literally held my hand throughout the entire process, making me feel really relaxed and supported. It's made such a stressful experience super positive and if anyone is thinking of using them, I'd absolutely recommend them!’

Brooke Day

19 January 2026, LWC Harrow

‘I undertook Kind IVF, which even though is nurse led as opposed to consultant led, the care, professionalism and knowledge is there. The nurses consult with consultants during your protocol, so the difference really is you see the nurses instead. The medication doses are less and less medication, but this doesn't mean it will be less effective, it is an option worth exploring, as the cost is less and can open the door when more traditional ivf is out of reach. I am currently pregnant having gone through the kind ivf protocol one time.’

APINTOF MEGAN

19 January 2026, LWC London Bridge

‘Exceptional service from start to finish. Highly recommend Harley street team for looking after us. Absolutely loved your service and care. Thank you London woman's clinic :)’

Anh Nguyen

19 January 2026, LWC Harley Street

‘The team at the Cambridge LWC branch have been incredibly supportive, encouraging and helpful throughout our journey, and have been with us through the ups and downs. It's a very safe and inclusive space, and we feel very well cared for. We can't recommend them enough! Sarah and Jacqui’

Sarah Peace

16 January 2026, LWC Cambridge

‘We will be forever grateful to London Women's Clinic Bromley for helping us achieve what once felt impossible -- welcoming our beautiful, healthy baby boy in November 2025. Our IVF journey was emotional, overwhelming at times, and deeply personal, but from the very first appointment we were met with nothing but kindness, compassion, and unwavering support. Every step was clearly explained, we were kept fully informed throughout, and there was always someone available to answer our questions or simply reassure us when we needed it most. We never once felt like just another patient -- we felt truly cared for. Dr Malini, Sarah, Nicky (Nikita) and Dom were exceptional and will always hold a very special place in our hearts. Their warmth, patience, and genuine kindness made the process so much easier to cope with. They made us feel safe, comfortable, and supported during some of the most vulnerable moments of our lives. Every nurse, embryologist, and member of staff we encountered was wonderful. We honestly cannot recommend London Women's Clinic Bromley enough to anyone struggling with fertility or facing similar challenges. The dedication, empathy, and expertise of this team has changed our lives forever. We hope to take the clinic up on their offer to visit with our little miracle, who we are endlessly thankful they helped bring into this world. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Lucy & Sayed ’

Lucy morgan

16 January 2026, LWC Bromley

‘My journey with egg freezing in the LWC has been amazing. I had started consultations with another provider before but didn't feel comfortable there, and I'm SO GLAD I listened to my instinct and went to this clinic! The whole team was so knowledgeable and supportive throughout, but also just lovely. I would recommend the clinic, ESPECIALLY if you are worried about the process and feel emotional, the understanding and support here is way beyond what I was hoping for!!!’

Charlotte M

15 January 2026, LWC London Bridge

‘My journey with the LWC in London Bridge + Harley Street has been outstanding. The team is so lovely, I felt welcomed and understood from the first to the last call and through every appointment in between. I would recommend it to every friend!’

Charlotte M

15 January 2026, LWC Harley Street

‘Nicki has a beautiful and excellent personality, she was so kind, polite and sweet. I felt so happy after the scan . Bless her. Right woman for the job.’

Steave Oyinloye

15 January 2026, LWC Bromley

‘Nikita was fab - really put me at ease with my scan and able to relax. Feel very supported’

S S

15 January 2026, LWC Bromley

‘Just had my scan with Nikki and she was very informative and made me feel very comfortable.’

Lisa

15 January 2026, LWC Bromley

‘Nikita was excellent and mindful during our initial scan/consultation explained everything well.’

james harris

15 January 2026, LWC Bromley

‘Myself and partner have had a lovely experience with LWC Canterbury they are thoughtful and caring. Always made us feel comfort and welcome even through the difficulties that we have faced on our journey, however we will be forever grateful for all they have done and are contiuing to do.’

Natasha Elliott

14 January 2026, LWC Canterbury

‘This was my first fertility treatment, and I cannot express enough how thankful I am to have chosen LWC and to have been treated at the Harrow clinic. I would highly recommend it to anyone considering starting their fertility journey! From the start, I appreciated how transparent the admin team was about all the costs involved at every stage, giving clear ranges when the decision depended on how the treatment would go. I am also extremely grateful for their support in helping with securing financing, even when I decided to move forward at short notice. They took the time to schedule calls to answer my questions, and I truly felt listened to and cared for as a patient. At the Harrow clinic, I experienced an exceptionally caring and positive environment. All the nurses were highly professional while also being incredibly comforting and supportive. I would especially like to thank Ana Maria, who was there throughout the process, offering practical advice based on her own experience, a hug when needed, and making the entire journey feel much more like home. I would also like to thank Carla for her positivity, high energy, and encouragement during difficult moments, and Laura for her empowering and reassuring approach to the injections. Dr Goswami was also outstanding--extremely professional and clear in her advice. She carefully adjusted the treatment to aim for the best possible outcome while prioritising safety and minimising risks. I am also very grateful for the support groups organised by the clinic. Through these, I met incredibly brave and empowered women and couples. Sharing this journey with some of them made the experience far more bearable and positive. Thank you to everyone at the Harrow clinic and LWC for your incredible support!!’

Marina Riabiz

14 January 2026, LWC Harrow

‘We had a very positive experience at this IVF clinic and would highly recommend it. From the very beginning, we felt well supported and looked after throughout the entire journey. A special thank you to Safak, our patient coordinator, who was incredibly helpful and always very quick to respond. We would also like to thank Princess, the receptionist, as well as the Italian receptionist whose name we unfortunately don't remember, for always being kind and welcoming. We are extremely grateful to Dr Suraya, who performed many of our scans and was exceptional throughout the process, and to Dr Rao, who followed our journey step by step with great care, professionalism and attention. Finally, a big thank you to all the nurses, especially Hannah,Ella and Paige, for their support, kindness and professionalism. Overall, we felt very well cared for and supported, and we truly recommend this clinic to anyone considering IVF!’

Alicia Gioia

12 January 2026, LWC London Bridge

‘The reception staff are amazing nothing is to much trouble. Always answered any queries we had. The whole team were brilliant from our first initial appointment too our very last. They made us feel so comfortable.’

Rachel Powell

12 January 2026, LWC Bristol

‘We don't know where to begin, this place truly is wonderful. So so comforting and welcoming. Every single staff member went above and beyond and really felt like family. We couldn't be more appreciative of everyone who helped us on our way to creat our little one, who is cooking away nicely at 20 weeks. From choosing a sperm donor to my egg collection and then to getting my wife pregnant with the embryos a few months later, it was so stress free and we felt supported every single step of the way. We can't thank all the lovely wonderful ladies at the Brentwood clinic enough for what they have helped us achieve- and of course the amazing people at the Harley street clinic for doing the procedures who were just as welcoming! Thank you all so so much, we can't wait to bring our little man to meet you all when we are ready to try for baby number 2 xxxxx’

molly bannister

9 January 2026, LWC Brentwood

‘Following a seminar I attended at LWC, I arranged a consultation with Dr. Naware who specialises in fertility for women over 40. It was a refreshing experience. Dr. Naware is empathetic, kind and thorough. The follow up from the clinic was excellent, with Safak, Patient Coordinator, providing regular updates.’

A Patel

9 January 2026, LWC London Bridge

‘We are incredibly grateful to London Women's Clinic - Canterbury for their outstanding care and support throughout our IVF journey. Both the Canterbury and Bromley teams surrounded us with genuine kindness, understanding, and constant attention. We always felt listened to and truly cared for, and the level of professionalism was exceptional at every stage. Thanks to their dedication and hard work, we had the chance to welcome our beautiful little daughter into the world. We cannot recommend this clinic highly enough.’

Natalia Twardochleb

8 January 2026, LWC Canterbury

‘We can't recommend the London Women's Clinic enough. My partner and I are a same-sex female couple and are currently pregnant with our baby due in July -- after only two attempts. From the moment we chose the London Women's Clinic, the experience was incredible. The Harrow branch in particular felt so welcoming and supportive. Carla Lang, Ana-Maria, Laura Adagbon, and Dr Gill were absolutely amazing -- accommodating, kind, friendly, and genuinely caring. They went above and beyond throughout our entire journey, even responding to emails outside of working hours, which meant so much to us. We had previously completed blood tests and scans at another clinic but didn't feel it was the right fit. The London Women's Clinic didn't push us to repeat everything unnecessarily -- they accepted our previous tests, which really showed that they are not money-driven. On that note, their pricing is also very affordable compared to other clinics. Dr Gill is incredibly thorough and precise, taking so many factors into account when planning treatment, which gave us complete confidence. Our insemination was carried out at the Harley Street London Women's Clinic by Dr Yogita Date, who was equally wonderful. She made us feel comfortable, supported, and genuinely wished us luck during the procedure. Overall, this clinic felt more like family than a medical service. Even now, they continue to check in on us and our pregnancy, which says everything about the level of care they provide. We are beyond grateful and wouldn't hesitate to recommend the London Women's Clinic to anyone starting their fertility journey.’

Maisie Thomas

8 January 2026, LWC Harrow

‘The team at LWC Harley Street have been outstanding. They have supported my wife and I through our IVF journey at every step, keeping us informed and making the entire journey feel seamless. A special thanks to Dr Serra, Nurse Mimi, Vita and the rest of the LWC team that have helped us along the way. We are now 20 weeks into our pregnancy and LWC have continued to follow up to ensure all is well. A big thank you once again and we highly recommend LWC Harley Street to anyone considering IVF.’

Keyur Nakum

29 December 2025, LWC Harley Street

‘Cannot fault the ladies here at all. I felt so so welcome and looked after during the visit and consultation. The nurses were so compassionate and lovely, and I really felt like I was being listened to and understood. Would recommend to anyone looking to start a fertility journey/make some enquiries into their fertility healthxx’

Ellie Brown

19 December 2025, LWC Canterbury

‘Myself and my partners experience with LWC in Canterbury has been AMAZING! They have been so supportive and friendly throughout our whole IVF journey and gave us no stress throughout any part of it. Would very highly recommend as our first round of ISCI IVF worked ’

Mia Summers

19 December 2025, LWC Canterbury